


Off Script

by Thursdays_Angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, Discovery, Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdays_Angel/pseuds/Thursdays_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean learns from an unexpected source just what Castiel's been up to in his war against Raphael. He'll do and say whatever he has to in order to make sure things don't play out as they've been written. Could be seen as pre-Destiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off Script

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on FF.Net over a year ago. I finally decided to bring it over here to see how it does. There are exerts from "The Man Who Would Be King" and I cannot remember for the life of me what the other episode is. The exerts from "The Man Who Would Be King" are written they way they are because it's meant to be read as a script so it's not as if anyone has seen exactly how the scene is supposed to play out. I took creative liberty with Misha's personality since I, unfortunately, don't know the man.

            Sammy had gone “home” to be with Fake-Ruby while Dean sat in his, _Jensen’s_ , trailer staring at the wall and enjoying the alcohol he’d found stashed in the back of one of the cupboards. They’d had to act earlier. Seriously, what the hell? They were hunter’s not actors. How could these people possibly expect for them to act. He and Sammy had been terrible. Now that he’d thought about it how could they have messed up acting like themselves?

            Groaning and running a hand through his short hair Dean knocked back the last of the amber liquid in his glass and looked at the bottle, contemplating whether or not he wanted to refill the glass. He and Sammy had been trying to find a way back to their own reality and so far they’d got squat. He huffed a short laugh, the only reason Sam had left Dean was because Fake-Ruby (Jen he thought her name was) had hounded Sam into “coming home.” Part of Dean was jealous, at least someone was able to hang out with a familiar face. Dean had seen the way Sammy’s eyes had lit up at seeing Ruby. After the shock wore off that was.

            A knock on the trailer door interrupted his thoughts. For a moment Dean contemplated hiding in a corner and hoping the person would go away or opening the door and shooting whoever it was. Oh wait, that’s right, the guns were fake. Just like everything else around here. Ugh!

            Pulling himself out of the chair he opened the door to find Cass standing there. No not Cass, Misha. The guy’s name was _Misha._ It would be hard for Dean to forget a name like that. Kind of like _Jensen_ and _Padalecki._ These people had the strangest names.

            “Mind if I come in?” Misha asked breaking the silence.

            “Uh, yeah sorry,” Dean said. The resemblance between Misha and Cass was disconcerting. Then again, the guy did play Cass on TV so it made sense there’d be a resemblance. Didn’t mean Dean had to like it.

            At least Misha wasn’t wearing Cass’s clothes anymore. Instead he had on a pair of faded jeans, red undershirt and navy blue long sleeve outer shirt, black jacket and a pair of well worn sneakers. He was so close to dressing like Dean it was creepy.

            “Are you alright?” Misha asked after taking a seat. “You and Jared have been acting weird the last couple of days.”

            “I’m fine,” Dean replied. Just looking at the guy was one thing, hearing him talk was stranger still. His voice was like some weird combination of Cass and Jimmy. More Cass than Jimmy. If he and Sam didn’t get out of here soon he was going to go crazy.

            “You don’t seem fine. You seem… Off.”

            “Off how?”

            “Well you’re acting more like moody Dean Winchester than yourself.” Misha chuckled, “Man you’ve been playing Dean way too long.”

            “Tell me about it,” Dean muttered. Dean offered Misha a drink which the man took. He sat opposite the Cass look alike. “It’s just been a really weird couple of days.”

            “Well at least you and Jared are talking again.”

            “I guess.”

            Misha tilted his head in the classic Cass head tilt of confusion. Dean had the sudden urge to slam his head against the table. “You’d let me know if something was wrong right? We are friends, at least the last time I checked we were.”

            “Yeah…” this made Dean suddenly think about how he’d been such a lousy friend to Cass as of late. If, _when_ , they got back to their reality he was going to call the angel down to hang out for a bit.

            Great, now Misha was giving Dean the ‘I can see into your soul’ look. “Huh,” the man said then sipped at his drink.

            “What?” Dean asked.

            Misha shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied. “Stupid thought, you’d think I was crazy.”

            “I’m up for crazy,” Dean responded.

            Misha laughed, “Yeah I bet. You first though.”

            Dean looked at Misha in confusion, “Huh?”

            “You look like you’ve got something on your mind. Spill.”

            Oh no, Dean was not about to have a heart to heart with Fake-Cass. At least, that was what he’d thought. What came out of his mouth was completely different. “This is going to sound crazy but I’m not this _Jensen Ackles_. I’m Dean. The episode you’re working on,” yeah he’d actually read the script, “is really happening to me. Mostly.”

            Misha burst out laughing. Tears of laughter began to form before he stopped laughing suddenly, his expression changing to one of shock. “You’re serious.”

            “As a heart attack.”

            “Wow you have been playing Dean way too long.”

            “I’m not—” Dean shook his head in frustration. “Wait, I can prove it.”

            He stood and took off his outer shirt. One of the thing’s he’d discovered was that while they’d turned him into a painted whore a few things remained the same. His anti-possession tattoo wasn’t makeup. While it could be that Jensen had gotten the tattoo one thing that would be hard to fake was the hand print scar on his left shoulder. Dean had checked, that didn’t come off.

            He rolled up his left sleeve to expose the scar. Misha’s eyes went from Dean’s face to his shoulder and back again. “Okay so they put the scar on you. Though I don’t remember it being part of the script I don’t get—”

            “Damn it Cass, it’s not fake!” Dean yelled.

            “Okay, okay,” Misha replied in a placating tone. He didn’t mention Dean’s slip of the tongue though.

            Misha stood and moved over to Dean, looking over the scar. His eyes met Dean’s before he reached a hand up and ran his fingers over it. Confusion once again set upon his face when he tried removing the scar. He drew back in shock a moment later. “Holy crap.”

            Dean felt this overwhelming sense of triumph. There was also the childish urge for an ‘I told you so’ which he took. “I told you I was really Dean.”

            Misha blinked in shock again, went over to the table, filled his glass and drank it down. He nodded, “Okay so this isn’t a dream and I’m not actually going crazy, right?”

            “Not unless we both are.”

            “I suppose my dream last week makes sense.”

            “What dream?”

            Misha turned back to face Dean. “I thought I had just been working too hard. It’s weird seeing yourself in a dream. Even weirder when your character is telling you that you guys were going to go through the looking glass.”

            “Wait, so Cass told you we were going to be here? In a dream?” Dean shook his head, “I’m going to kill him when we get back.”

            “So everything that’s been filmed, that’s actually happened to you?”

            “Well I haven’t actually watched it but if it’s anything like Chuck’s books, then yeah, it has.”

            Misha whistled. “But then that means… And then it… You will…” He turned to Dean. “I’ll be right back.” He then left the trailer.

            Dean was confused. What had just happened? Dean rolled his sleeve back down and put his other shirt back on. Misha came back a few minutes later with a stack of papers in his hands.

            “What are those?” Dean asked.

            “Scripts for the next couple of episodes we’re filming. We don’t film them in the order that they air so I figure it’ll be better for you to find this out now instead of it being too late.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            Misha retook his seat and motioned for Dean to do the same. “One of the things Jensen, Jared and I do is talk about our characters. How their relationships are going and how things are going to affect them. It helps us to understand them more. Having played,” he gave a one shoulder shrug, “you guys for so long we know you. The way you think, the way you handle things. We have to or else we wouldn’t be able to play our parts. Something Jensen and I have discussed lately is the events of ‘The Man Who Would Be King’. It’s not good.”

            “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

            Misha rubbed at his eyes, “Right you wouldn’t.” He rifled through the scripts until he came to the one he wanted. “I’m going to tell you something you’re not going to want to hear. You’re going to get pissed and are probably not going to want to listen to the ‘why’s’ but I want you to hear me out afterwards.”

            Dean took a seat, having a feeling he was going to need to. “Alright,” he said warily.

            “Crowley’s alive.”

            “What? No, Cass burned his bones.”

            “They were the wrong bones. I doubt Cass knew it at first but…” He bit his lip seeming to contemplate something. “Castiel has been working with Crowley to find a way into Purgatory.”

            Dean wasn’t sure he heard that right. “You’re joking… Right? Cass wouldn’t…”

            “Well you have been kind of a dick lately. He’s got the whole civil war in Heaven going on. Between that, trying to defeat Raphael and doing your bidding you’re wearing the guy a bit thin.”

            “My bidding?” Dean asked incredulously. “I don’t—”

            Misha cut him off. “You only call the guy when _you_ need something. The only time you help him is if a heavenly weapon is involved and it’s killing people. Otherwise you don’t seem to give a crap.”

            “But Crowley? He’s working with a _demon_ to pop effing _Purgatory_? Why the hell would he do that?”

            “Probably because he doesn’t think he has any other choice. He’d ask you for help, hell he’s tried asking you for help once you’d returned to hunting but you don’t listen. It’s all, ‘my problems’ this and ‘my problems’ that. I get you wanted to help Sam get his soul back by just about any means necessary but…” He flipped though the script in his hand. Putting it to the side he grabbed the laptop near them instead and began looking something up.

            “What-”          

            Misha held up a hand, “Hold on…” There was another minute of silence between the two with only the sound of the keys clicking before Misha seemingly found what he was looking for. “Here, watch this.” He turned the computer around for Dean to see.

            Misha reached over and hit a key to start the video he had up to play. Dean recalled the scene; it was right after they had checked to see if Samuel still had his soul.

* * *

            _“I knew it was something.” Samuel said with a shake of his head, “You’re a hell of a hunter Sam but… truth is, sometimes you scare me.” He was silent for a moment. “So, what’s the deal here? How do we fix this? How do we get his soul back?”_

_“We don’t know yet.” Dean replied, “But we have to.”_

_“Well I’m here to help, of course. What leads you working?”_

_“A bunch of dead ends,” Sam said, “and you.”_

_Castiel watched the interaction between the other three in the room silently before turning to look out of the window. Castiel seemed to be listening to something only he could hear. “Sam, Dean.” He turned to face them, “I have to get back.”_

_“You’re leaving?” Dean asked in surprise._

_“I’m in the middle of a civil war.” Cass said. The way he said ‘civil war’ was almost like, ‘duh!’_

_“You better tear the attic up, find something to help Sam,” there was a hint of anger in Dean’s voice._

_Castiel met Dean’s eyes, “Of course,” he sounded resigned, like there was no point in even trying to argue. An expression of frustration crossed his face and yet his eyes asked why Dean wasn’t listening, “Your problems always come first.” There was a pause, “I’ll be in touch,” and then he was gone._

* * *

            “There are other moments,” Misha said once the video had stopped, “but that was one of the first that came to mind.”

            Dean hadn’t realized he had been such a dick. Then again, like usual, he was trying to ignore the matter. Seeing it from an outsider’s perspective made him take a second look on how things had gone. There was still the other problem, “But Crowley? Sure, maybe I was, am, being a dick but why go to Crowley instead of us?”

            “Probably because you ignore his problems. He’s tried to tell you why he’s doing what he’s doing but you’re not listening.”

            Dean couldn’t help the anger he felt at what Castiel was doing. Why the hell would he betray them like that? Why work with a demon to get into Purgatory? Purgatory had to stay _closed_!

            The rustling of paper drew Dean’s attention back to Cass’ look-alike. “This explains why Castiel is doing what he’s doing.” He handed the script to Dean. “Just read it over and try to keep an open mind. For now I’d stay with the monologue.”

            Dean took the script and began to read.

* * *

            _Castiel sits on a bench in the middle of a snowy park._

_“You know I’ve… been here for a very long time. I remember many things…”_

_[Flash of a fish walking onto beach]_

_“I remember being at a shoreline watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach and an older brother saying, ‘Don’t step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish.’”_

_[Flashes of old religious movies play during dialogue]_

_“I remember the Tower of Babel. All_ thirty-seven _feet of it, which I suppose, was impressive at the time. And when it fell they howled, ‘Divine wrath.’ But, come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high._

_“I remember Cain and Able, David and Goliath, Sodom and Gomorrah.”_

_[Flash backs to Season 4 and 5]_

_“And of course I remember the most remarkable event. Remarkable because it never came to pass. It was averted by two boys, and old drunk and a fallen angel. The grand story. And we ripped up the ending and the rules and destiny. Leaving nothing but freedom and choice._

_“Which is all well and good, except…”_

_[Lucifer and Michael fall into cage. Scene return to Castiel on bench]_

_“But what if I’ve made the wrong choice? I mean, how am I supposed to know? I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything.”_

_[Opening title]_

* * *

            Dean skimmed over the argument between Cass and Crowley. At least it didn’t appear that all was well in paradise.

* * *

_“Crowley had a point of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchester’s guardian. After all, they taught me how to stand up.”_

_[Flash to Stull Cemetery]_

_“Hey, assbut!”_

            _[Michael goes up in flames. Monologue]_

            _“What to stand for and what generally happens to you when you do.”_

            _[Castiel explodes]_

_“I was done. I was over. And then the most extraordinary thing happened.”_

_[Castiel returns]_

_“I was put back. And we had won. We stopped Armageddon…”_

_[Castiel heals Dean’s wounds then heals Bobby]_

_“…but at a terrible cost. And so then I knew what I had to do next.”_

_[Shot to Sam standing outside of Lisa’s house]_

_“Once again, I went to harrow hell to free Sam from Lucifer’s cage. It was nearly impossible but I was so full of confidence, of mission. I see now that was arrogance, hubris. Because of course I hadn’t truly raised Sam, not all of him.”_

_[Flashes of Soulless Sam performing bad deeds then return to outside Lisa’s house]_

_“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning.”_

_[Sam walks away from the house]_

_“This should have been mine.”_

_[Return to Castiel and Crowley in hideout.]_

_* * *_

_[Sam and Dean standing in Bobby’s kitchen]_

_“So, what’d you tell him?” Sam asks._

_“Nothing,” Dean replies. “Just relax.”_

_[Bobby joins them]_

_“What’s the hubbub?” Bobby asks._

_“Saw Cass. He popped in on me about two hours back.”_

_“What’d you tell him?”_

_“Nothing, alright. I told him we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn’t know that we’re getting close to Crowley. You know, he’s our friend. And we are_ lying _to him through our teeth.”_

_“Dean-”_

_Dean interrupts, “So he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him.”_

_“He’s an angel.” Bobby argues._

_“He is the Balki Bartokomous of heaven. He can make a mistake.”_

_“Nobody’s sayin’ nothin’ yet.”_

_“You think that Cass is in with Crowley?_ Crowley _?”_

 _“Look, I’m just sayin’ I don’t know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinkin’ it but I_ don’t _know.”_

_“Look Dean, he’s our friend too, okay?” Sam says._

_[Castiel seen spying on the three of them.]_

_Sam continues, “And I’d die for him, I would, but, look, I’m praying we’re wrong here.”_

_“But if we ain’t. If there’s a snowball of a snowball’s chance here,” Bobby says, “that means we’re dealing with a Superman whose gone dark side. Which means we’ve gotta be cautions. We gotta be smart and maybe stock up on some kryptonite.”_

_[Dean looks to Sam]_

_“This makes you Lois Lane.” Dean says._

_“Look, one problem at a time here.” Bobby says. “We gotta find Crowley now before the damn fool cracks open Purgatory.”_

_[Castiel Monologue]_

_“So they already suspected.”_

_[Background]_

_“Where’s Crowley?” Bobby asks the demon strapped in the chair._

_“Up yours,” the demon replies, then screams._

_“And the worst part was, Dean trying so hard to be loyal. With every instinct telling him otherwise.”_

* * *

            Dean read over the part where Cass killed the demon’s to protect them, again, then how he cleared out the house. He could practically hear Cass’ voice in his head.

            _“These demon’s would lead the Winchester’s to Crowley and Crowley would tear their hearts out._

_“I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I don’t know anymore.”_

_* * *_

_“Hiding, lying, sweeping away evidence.”_

_[Sam walks away from Lisa’s house]_

_“And my motives used to be so pure. After supposedly saving Sam, I finally returned to Heaven.”_

_[Castiel enters Heaven]_

_“Of course there isn’t one Heaven. Each soul generates its own paradise. I favored the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953.”_

_[Man flying kite in background. Castiel turns to find other angels waiting for him]_

_“You’re alive,” Rachael says._

_“Yes,” Castiel replies._

_“Castiel, we saw Lucifer destroy you.”_

_“Well I came back.”_

_“But Lucifer? Michael?”_

_“They’re gone.”_

_“It was God, wasn’t it?”_

_[The angels gather closer to Castiel]_

_“No. It was the Winchester’s. They brought down the apocalypse.”_

_“But you beat the archangel’s, Castiel. God brought you back. He chose you, Cass. To lead us.”_

_“No. No one leads us anymore. We’re all free to make our own choices and to choose our own fates.”_

_“What does God want?”_

_“God wants you to have freedom.”_

_“But what does he want us to do with it?”_

_[Monologue]_

_“If I knew then what I know now, I might’ve said, ‘it’s simple. Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.’”_

_[Castiel walks through the interior of a mansion]_

_“Those first weeks back in heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish. And then there was Raphael.”_

_[Raphael sit’s in a high back leather chair]_

_“You came,” Raphael says. “I appreciate the courage that takes.”_

_[Castiel approaches Raphael and looks around]_

_“Whose Heaven is this?”_

_“Ken Lay’s. I’m borrowing it.”_

_“I still question his admittance here.”_

_“He’s devout. Trumps everything.”_

_“What do you want?” Castiel asks. [Sits down]_

_“Tomorrow, I’ve called for a full assembly of the Holy Host. You’ll kneel before me and pledge allegiance to the flag, all right?”_

_“And what flag is that?”_

_“Me, Castiel. Allegiance to me.”_

_“Are you joking?”_

_“Do I_ look _like I’m joking?”_

_“You never look like you’re joking.”_

_“You rebelled. Against God, Heaven and me. Now you will atone. We’ll start by freeing Michael and Lucifer from their cage and then we’ll get our show back on the road.”_

_“Raphael. No. The apocalypse doesn’t have to be fought.”_

_“Of course it does. It’s God’s will.”_

_“How can you say that?”_

_“Because it’s what I want.”_

_“Well the other angel’s won’t let you.”_

_“Are you sure? You know better than anyone, Castiel. They’re soldiers. They weren’t built for freedom. They were built to follow.”_

_[Castiel stands]_

_“Then I won’t let you.”_

_“Really? You?”_

_[Raphael raises his hand and a white light shoots from it. Castiel is back in his favored Heaven. He awakens and coughs up blood]_

_“I’m not ashamed to say that my big brother knocked me into next week.”_

_[Raphael stand over Castiel]_

_“Tomorrow you kneel, Castiel or you and anyone with you dies.”_

* * *

            Dean had known that Cass had dick siblings but jeeze the ninja turtle really did have a God complex. Cass had not been having an easy time with this war. Dean knew Raphael was a total ass-hat but this. Dean had half a mind to deep fry himself an archangel. What was it about the archangels that said they all had to be dicks? Well Gabriel had turned out all right at the end. But Michael, Lucifer and Raphael, they took dickdom to a whole new level.

* * *

_[Castiel hidden in background of empty cabin. Sam re-enters main room]_

_“Hey, place is clean.” Sam says._

_[Sam, Dean and Bobby are gathered in the large room]_

_“Yeah but it’s… It’s like Mr. Clean clean, you know?” Bobby says. “It’s kinda OCD for your average demon.”_

_“Yeah, so what now?”_

_“We call Cass,” Dean says._

_“What?” Sam asks._

_“This is usually the point where we would call Cass for help.” Dean explains._

_“We talked about this.” Bobby says._

_Sam agrees with Bobby, “Yeah, Dean.”_

_“No, you talked,” Dean interrupts, “I listened. This is Cass, guys. I mean, when there’s no one and we were stuck, and I mean really stuck, he broke ranks. He’s gone to the mat, cut and bleeding for us, so many friggin’ times. This is Cass. Don’t we owe him the benefit of the doubt, at least?”_

_[The three exchange looks. Sam sighs]_

_“Castiel, this is really important, okay? Um… We really need to talk to you.” Sam prays._

_[No answer]_

_Dean prays, “Castiel, come on in.”_

_[Monologue]_

_“But I didn’t go to them. Because I knew they would have questions I couldn’t answer. Because I was afraid.”_

_“Cass is busy,” Dean says._

_“It’s all right. We are too.”             [Sam claps Dean’s shoulder]_

_“Come on.”_

_“Back to square one,” Bobby says._

_“Great. Well, what do we do now?” Dean asks_

_“Well, we caught one hunter demon before, we can do it again.”_

_[Sam turns around, spotting something]_

_“Dean!” Sam yells._

_[Dean is tackled by a demon. Then Sam and Bobby are attacked]_

_“Crowley says hi,” Says the demon on Dean._

_[Cut to black]_

_[Return to scene, demon punches Dean. Time stills. Monologue]_

_“Crowley sent his very best. I was caught as much by surprise as the rest of them.”_

_[Bobby thrown through glass door. Time stills]_

_“And it left me with yet another choice…”_

_[Sam thrown onto table. Time stills]_

_“I could reveal myself and smite the demons.”_

_[Return to Dean]_

_“Of course Crowley wouldn’t like it but on the other hand, they were my friends.”_

_[Castiel appears and smites the demon attacking Dean. Then he moves on to smite the demons attacking Bobby and Sam.]_

_“For a brief moment, I was me again.”_

_[Boys recover from attack and get up from floor]_

_“Good to see you Cass,” Dean says._

_“Are you all right?” Castiel asks Dean._

_“Yeah.” Sam says, “Perfect timing, Cass”_

_“I’m glad I found you. I come with news.”_

_“Yeah, what?” Dean asks._

_“I firmly believe Crowley is alive.”_

_[Dean huffs a laugh]_

_“Yeah. You think, Kojak?”_

_[Dean looks at Bobby and Sam smugly]_

_“Well, Bobby, what do you think about Cass saving our asses? Again?”_

_[Castiel and Bobby exchange looks]_

_“I think we owe you an apology.” Bobby says._

_“Why?” Castiel asks._

_“We’ve been hunting Crowley this whole time.” Sam explains. “And keeping it from you.”_

_“We thought you were working with him,” Bobby says._

_“You thought what?” Castiel asks._

_“I know. It’s crazy, right?” Dean says._

_Bobby continues to explain. “It’s just that you torched the wrong bones… It doesn’t matter. We… we were wrong.”_

_“You know…” [Castiel walks towards the boys] “...you could’ve just asked me.”_

_“And we should have.” Dean says. “We never should have doubted you. We just hope you can forgive us.”_

_[Monologue]_

_“Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie.”_

_[Out loud]_

_“It’s forgotten,” Castiel says._

_“Thanks,” Dean says._

_“Yeah,” Sam says, “thanks Cass.”_

_“It is a little absurd, though.” Cass says._

_“I know, I know,” Bobby says._

_“Superman going to the dark side.”_

_[Sam, Dean and Bobby exchange knowing looks]_

_“I’m still just Castiel.”_

_“I guess we can put away the kryptonite,” Dean says, “Right?”_

_“Exactly,” Castiel replies_

_[Monologue]_

_“Of course I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was all over. Right then. Just like that.”_

* * *

            _[Castiel charges into Crowley’s lair]_

_“You sent demons after them?” Castiel demands._

_“You kill my hunters, why can’t I kill yours?” Crowley asks._

_“They’re my friends.”_

_“You can’t have friends. Not anymore. I mean, my God. You’re losing it.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“Yeah. You’re the very picture of mental health. Come on, you don’t think I know what this is all about?”_

_“Enlighten me?”_

_“The big lie, the Winchester’s still buy it. The good Cass, the righteous Cass. As long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well I got news for you, kitten.” Crowley’s voice turns taunting. “A whore is a whore is a whore.”_

_[Castiel grabs Crowley and shoves him into the wall breaking the tile]_

_“I’m only gonna say this once. If you touch a_ hair _on their heads, I will tear it all down. Our arrangement, everything. I’m still an angel and I will bury you.”_

_[Castiel leaves in a flutter of wings. Monologue]_

_“I asked myself, ‘what was I doing with this vermin?’”_

_“This is not you synergy works!” Crowley yells into the empty room._

_[Monologue]_

_“As if I didn’t already know the answer.”_

_[Raphael stands over a prone Castiel in Heaven then walks away.]_

_“Raphael was stronger than me.” Castiel groans in pain, “And I wouldn’t survive a straight fight.”_

_[Scene change to Castiel watching Dean raking leaves]_

_“So I went to an old friend for help. But watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.”_

_[Crowley appears]_

_“Ah, Castiel, angel of Thursday,” Crowley says. “Just not your day, is it?”_

_“What are you doing here?” Castiel asks._

_“I want to help you, help me, help ourselves.”_

_“Speak plain.”_

_“I want to discuss a simple business transaction. That’s all.”_

_“You want to make a deal?” Castiel asks incredulously. “With me? I’m an angel, you ass. I don’t have a soul to sell.”_

_“But that’s it, isn’t it? It’s all of it. It’s the souls. It all comes down to the souls in the end, doesn’t it?”_

_“What in the hell are you talking about?”_

_“I’m talking about Raphael’s head on a pike. I’m talking about happy endings for all of us. With all possible entendres intended. Come on. Just a chat.”_

_“I have no interest in talking to you?”_

_“Why not? I’m very interesting. Come on, hear me out. Five minutes. No obligations. I promise.”_

_[Castiel looks back at Dean]_

_“I’ll make it worth your while.”_

_[Monologue]_

_“I was no fool. I knew who Crowley was and what he did. But I was smarter than him, stronger. I see now that I was prideful. And that in all likelihood, I_ was _a fool.”_

_[Scene change to a long hallway. Indistinguishable voice on PA. Man takes a number and gets into line. Castiel and Crowley enter scene]_

_“Where are we?” Castiel asks._

_Crowley answers with a question of his own, “You don’t recognize it, do you? It’s Hades, new and improved. Did it myself.”_

_“This is Hell?”_

_“Yeah. See problem with the old place was most of the inmates were masochists already. A lot of, ‘thank you, sir. Can I have another hot spike up the jacksie?’ But just look at them.”_

_“Next,” calls a voice over the PA._

_“No one likes waiting in line.” Crowley says smugly._

_“What happens when they reach the front?” Castiel asks._

_“Nothing. They go right back to the end again. That’s efficiently.”_

_[Castiel walks past Crowley]_

_“You have four minutes left.”_

_[The two move further down the hallway]_

_“What are you planning to do about Raphael?”_

_“What can I do besides submit or die?”_

_“Submit or die? What are you? French? How about resist?”_

_“I’m not strong enough and you know it.”_

_“Not on your own you’re not. But you’re not on your own are you? There’s a lot of angels swooning over you. God’s favorite, buddy boy. You’ve got what they call sex appeal.”_

_“Thank you, get to the point.”_

_“Angel’s need leaders, so be one. Gather your army and kick the candy out of each and every angel that shows up for Raphael.”_

_[Castiel stops walking and turns to face Crowley]_

_“Are you proposing that I start a civil war in Heaven?”_

_“Ding, ding, ding. Tell him what he’s won, Vanna.”_

_“You’re asking me to be the next Lucifer.”_

_“Please. Lucifer was a petulant child with daddy issues. Cass, you love God. God loves you. He brought you back. Did it occur to you that maybe he did this so you could be the new sheriff upstairs?”_

_“This is ridiculous. The power that it would take to mount a war—”_

_“More than either of us have ever seen, yeah. But what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Purgatory, my fine feathered friend. Purgatory.”_

_[They turn the corner, leaving the line of people behind]_

_“Just think about it. An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. I mean, what’s that over the years? Thirty million? Forty? Just sitting there, plump a-and rich for the taking.”_

_“And how would you find it when no one ever has?”_

_“We’ll need expert help.”             “From whom?”_

_“From experts, of course. I know two eerily suited_ Teen Beat _models with time on their hands.”_

_“No, not Dean. He’s retired and he’s to stay that way.”_

_“Fine. Then I know of a certain big, bald patriarch that I can take off the bench. The point is, they can get us to the monsters. The monsters can get us to Purgatory. I know it.”_

_“And what’s your price in all of this?”_

_“Just half.”_

_“Half?”_

_“My position isn’t all that stable, ducky. Those souls would help, just like they’d help you. Besides, wouldn’t you rather have me in charge down here? The devil you know._

_Over the PA system a man says, “next.”_

_[Castiel turns away from Crowley]_

_“This is pointless. Yo… Your plan would take months and I need help now.”_

_“Granted. Yes. But just to show you how serious I am about this scheme how about I float you a little loan? Say, fifty large? Fifty-thousand souls from the Pit. You can take them up to Heaven. Make quite a showing. It’s either this, or the apocalypse all over again. Everything you’ve worked for, everything that Sam and Dean have worked for… gone. You can save us, Castiel.”_

_[Castiel turns back to face Crowley]_

_“God chose you to save us. And I think deep down you know that.”_

_[Monologue]_

_“I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…”_

_[Raphael turns to find Castiel walking into Ken Lays heaven]_

_“…or the next.”_

_[Castiel lifts his right hand. A light emanates from it and sends Raphael from the room]_

_“There will be no apocalypse. And let it be known, you’re either with Raphael or you’re with me.”_

_[Castiel walks from the room. Monologue]_

_“And so went the long road of good intentions…”_

_[Return to the demon hideout to find Bobby pouring a drink. The three are waiting for Castiel]_

_“…the road that brought me here.”_

_“Castiel,” Dean prays, “uh… we need you for a little powwow down here, so come on down.”_

_[Castiel appears]_

_“Hello,” Castiel says._

_[They all turn to face him]_

_“Oh, Johnny-on-the-spot,” Bobby says._

_“You’re still here.”_

_“Yeah, we had to bury the bodies,” Sam says._

_“And we found a little whiskey,” Dean says. “Thanks for coming.”_

_“How can I help?” Castiel asks._

_“Oh, look. We, um… we have a new plan.” Sam says. “We think we’ve finally figured out a way to track down Crowley.”_

_[Castiel walks towards them. Bobby stands, pulling something from his pocket]_

_“What is it?” Castiel asks._

_“It’s you,” Bobby replies._

_[Bobby drops a set of matches, igniting a ring of Holy Fire around Castiel]_

_[Castiel looks at each of them in surprise]_

_“What are you doing?”_

_[Dean stands]_

_“We gotta talk,” Dean says._

_“About what? Let me go.”_

_“About Superman. And kryptonite.”_

_“How’d you know what I said?” Bobby asks._

_“How long you been watching us?” Sam asks._

_“You know who spies on people, Cass? Spies?” Dean says._

_“Okay, just wait…” Castiel tries. “I don’t even know what you mean.”_

_“What about this demon craphole?” Sam asks. “How is so uh… next-to-godliness clean in here?”_

_“And how exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?” Bobby asks._

_“That is hard to understand,” Cass says, “It’s hard to explain. Just let me go. Let me out and I can—”_

_“You gotta look at me, man.” Dean says._

_[Castiel and Dean’s eyes meet]_

_“You gotta level with me and tell me what’s going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not working with Crowley.”_

_[Castiel tries to hold eye contact. He fails]_

_“Son of a bitch.”_

_“Let me explain.”_

_“You’re in it with him? You and Crowley have been going after Purgatory_ together? _You have, huh? This whole time.”_

_“I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you.”_

_“Protect us how?” Sam asks. “By opening up a hole into Monsterland?”_

_“He’s right, Cass,” Bobby says. “One drop got through and it was Eve. And you wanna break down the entire dam?”_

_“To get the souls. I can stop Raphael. Please, you have to trust me.”_

_“Trust you?” Sam asks incredulously. “How in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?”_

_“I’m still me. I’m still your friend. Sam… I am the one who raised you from perdition.”_

_[Surprise shows on the others faces. Castiel looks desperate]_

_“What? Well no offense but… you did a piss-poor job of it… Wait! Did you bring me back soulless on purpose?”_

_[Castiel is hurt by the accusation]_

_“How could you think that?”_

_“Well I’m thinking a lot of things right now, Cass.”_

_[Castiel tries to explain. Hopes they will listen to him]_

_“Listen. Raphael will kill us all. He’ll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.”_

_“No, you had a choice.” Dean says. “You just made the wrong one.”_

_“You don’t understand. It’s complicated.”_

_“No, actually, it’s not and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it… Like we always have. What we don’t do is we don’t go out and make another deal with the devil.”_

_[Castiel sounds and looks defeated]_

_“It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?”_

_“I was there. Where were you?”_

_[Flash back to Dean raking leaves]_

_“You should’ve come to us for help, Cass.”_

_“Maybe.”_

_[Sounds like wind can be heard getting louder]_

_“It’s too late now.”_

_[Outside a demon cloud is headed for the cabin]_

_“I can’t turn back now. I can’t.”_

_“It’s not too late.” Dean tries. “Damn it, Cass. We can fix this.”_

_“Dean, it’s not broken.”_

_[The cloud is getting closer]_

_“Run. You have to run, now. Run!”_

_[The others run from the house. Dean stops at the door to look once more at Castiel before running out as well, leaving Castiel trapped in the ring of Holy Fire]_

* * *

            _[Dean is lying on the couch in Bobby’s house. Angel-proofing can be seen on the windows. Dean wakes up. Castiel appears. Dean sits up]_

_“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says._

_“How’d you get in here?” Dean asks._

_“The angel-proofing Bobby put up on the house… He got a few things wrong.”_

_“Well it’s too bad we gotta angel-proof it in the first place, isn’t it?”_

_[Dean stands]_

_“Why are you here?”_

_[Castiel moves closer]_

_“I want you to understand.”_

_“Oh, believe me, I get it. Blah, blah, Raphael, right?”_

_“I’m doing this for_ you _, Dean. I’m doing this_ because _of you.”_

_“Because of me, yeah.”_

_[Dean turns away unable to believe what he’s hearing]_

_“You gotta be kidding me.”_

_“You’re the one who taught me that freedom and free will—”_

_[Dean turns back, anger rising]_

_“You’re a friggin’ child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn’t mean that you get to do_ whatever _you want!”_

_“I know what I’m doing, Dean.”_

_“I’m not going to logic you, okay? I’m saying don’t, just ‘cause. I’m_ asking _you not to. That’s it.”_

_“I don’t understand.”_

_“Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family… That you are like a brother to me. So if I’m asking you not to do something… You gotta trust me, man.”_

_“Or what?”_

_“Or I’ll have to do what I have to do to stop you.”_

_“You can’t, Dean. You’re just a man. I’m an angel.”_

_“I don’t know. I’ve taken some pretty big fish.”_

_“I’m sorry, Dean.”_

_“Well, I’m sorry too, then.”_

_[Castiel is gone. Return to the Castiel sitting on the park bench]_

_“So… That’s everything. I believe it’s what you would call a… tragedy from the human perspective. But maybe the human perspective is limited. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you, Father. One last time. Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me_ a sign _.” Castiel pleads, “Give me a sign. Because if you don’t, I’m gonna ju— I’m gonna do whatever I… Whatever I must.”_

_[Castiel falls silent. No sign comes]_

* * *

            Dean stops reading, his stomach in knots. He looks up at Misha and all he can see is Castiel. A mixture of rage and hurt flew through him. How could they possibly let things go that far? There had to be another way to stop Raphael. He wasn’t going to let Cass follow this path any further. There were still some questions he needed answers to, though.

            “Why?”

            “Hm?”

            Dean ran a hand over his face. “Why would Cass…”

            “Because he loves you.”

            Dean’s gaze shot up to fix on Misha. “What?” he couldn’t have heard that right.

            “Well it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m not saying he’s _in love_ with you it’s just,” Misha shrugged, “he loves you. Why else would he go so far?”

            “Obvious?” Dean’s mind was still trying to wrap itself around the ‘he loves you’ part of what Misha said.

            Misha leaned back in his seat. “There was that beat down, drag out in the alley when you were going to say yes to Michael. People don’t get that pissed at someone unless the one who’s hurting them is someone they love.”

            Dean remembered that fight well. Each punch thrown at him. Cass’s voice, _“I rebelled for this!?”_

            Dean knew there was more spoken but what stood out in his mind the most was the anguish in Cass’s voice and his eyes. _“I gave_ everything _for you and this is what you give to me?”_

He knew how it felt and the fight which had ensued in the motel when Sam had chosen Ruby over him. Absently Dean fingered at the script in his hands. “I can’t let it go that far.”

            “Good,” Misha said, sounding satisfied. “Honestly, if things happen that way I think Castiel is going to die, for good.”

            Dean felt his blood turn to ice at that. Cass had died for him more than once, each time had hurt but he always came back. Dean couldn’t imagine a time when Castiel didn’t return. His expression must have said something because Misha continued.

            “So far I’m only signed on for at least the first two episodes of next season. I doubt I’m coming back.”

            “Maybe he’s just going to go back to Heaven for good,” Dean suggested.

            “I don’t think so, with the way things are scripted to play out… It’s not going to end well.”

            The two fell into silence, yet it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. For the first time in a long time Dean was getting straight answers from the angel, well sort of. Right now he’d take what he could get. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Scratch that, migraine. He needed more booze.

            Misha poured more of the amber liquid into Dean’s glass. “You look like you could use this.”

            Dean downed the whole thing in one go. “You have no idea… Actually, maybe you do.” Dean took a breath to steady himself. “Any ideas on how to go about fixing this?”

            “My first suggestion,” Misha said, “listen to Castiel. He’s trying his damndest to protect everyone. He may not be going about it in the manor you’d like but if you think about his thought process, the ‘must protect those I love at any cost’ he learned from you.”

            “Great, thanks. Just one more thing I’ve screwed up.”

            To Dean’s surprise, Misha laughed. “Are you kidding? Castiel is a better person -angel- whatever, because of you. He never would have truly appreciated the value of a life if it weren’t for you. You, Sam and Bobby are more of a family to him than any of the other angels. He even said it once, in his own way, that he’d rather be on Earth with you than anywhere else.”

            Dean did remember that. It had been right after they had killed Crowley, or so they thought. “You wouldn’t happen to have any other ideas? Maybe a way to gank Raphael before he lets Lucie and his bunkmate out of their cell?”

            “Unfortunately no. Though there are those heavenly weapons Castiel is retrieving right now. Maybe one of those would work?”

            “You don’t know?”

            “There’s nothing in the scripts about them ever being used. Two episodes after the script you just read Purgatory is opened and Cass, for all intents and purposes, becomes God. It’s not going to be pretty if that happens. He’ll kind of have a Darth Vader moment.”

            “‘Darth Vader moment’?” Dean asks.

            “You did see _Revenge of the Sith_ right? Where Anakin becomes Vader then slaughters the Jedi because he truly believes that by doing that he can save his family. Eventually he becomes so drunk on power he can’t see right from wrong anymore. _That_ is what is going to happen to Castiel.”

            It was also something Dean did not want happening to his best friend. If he was honest with himself, and he usually wasn’t but he was going to allow himself a weak moment, Castiel was the only true friend he’d ever had. Sure he’d been a bit miffed at the angel for not coming to visit at all for a year though knowing the _why_ helped release some of it. Though if the script he’d just read was correct then Cass had visited, he just hadn’t showed himself.

            Misha was staring at him again and Dean realized he hadn’t answered the man, “yeah, I’ve seen it.” He needed to get back to his own reality. The atmosphere around them felt heavy from the revelations.

            There was a huff of laughter and Dean looked up to see Misha grinning. It was really weird to see that expression on Cass’ face. “Wow…”

            “Wow what?” Dean asked.

            “I was just thinking.”

            “About?”

            “Well, Chuck stopped publishing so in your universe the readers never had anything further than you going to Hell. Here though, you want to know what’s big with the fans?”

            Dean wasn’t sure. “What?” he asked warily.

            “Destiel.”

            Dean’s head hit the table.

* * *

            Strangely enough it was due to the ninja turtle that Sam and Dean were returned to their rightful reality. Of course, Castiel had taken off shortly after returning them to Bobby’s. After assuring themselves that they were back where they belong and boarding up the broken window, Bobby was going to be pissed, Dean had taken the bag he’d brought back with him upstairs to his room. Inside were the scripts Misha had given him. Dean was going to miss that guy. At least he’d survived Virgil’s little rampage on the set, Dean was grateful for that. Cass would exist in that universe, one way or another.

            Dean had hoped to keep Castiel around long enough so he could talk to him but that had obviously not happened. It was probably for the best. Dean didn’t exactly know what he wanted to say yet. Well actually he did but it was the _how_ to say it he needed to figure out. Dean groaned and flopped down on the bed in the upstairs guestroom he had claimed as his own. Why couldn’t they catch any breaks? Deciding he would think better after a good night’s sleep Dean rolled over and let his eyes fall closed.

* * *

_Dean was dreaming, he knew he was but what he was seeing, the images before him were so real that he began to doubt this was simply a dream._

_Scenes flashed before his eyes, the mixture of sounds and color and emotions had his head spinning. No matter where Dean looked, there was always something showing before him, even if he closed his eyes the images would not leave him._

_First there was the image of Castiel surrounded by Holy Fire with a look of such utter sadness, loss and loneliness followed by a look of superiority as he destroyed Raphael._

_This thing standing in front of them was not the Castiel they knew. Threatening to kill them if they moved against him. Sam’s memory of Hell slowly killing him._

_“You’re not my family Dean. I have no family.”_

_Dean’s own voice rang out with no accompanying image. “Just kill him now!”_

_Castiel, covered in blood and strange sores. Shame and remorse echoed in his voice and shone on his face, “I’m sorry Dean.” A burst of white light then Cass was on the ground. He was dead, then he wasn’t. “I gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”_

_Cass pushed him and Bobby then doubles over in pain, “I-I can’t hold them back!”_

_His own voice answering, “Hold who back?”_

_“They held on inside of me.” Castiel looks up him, “Dean…” The vessels in his face stood out from his struggles. “They’re so strong,” he gasps out._

_“Who the hell?” Bobby asks._

_“Leviathan!” Castiel begins to convulse. “I can’t fight them! Run!”_

_Dean tells Bobby to go find Sam. When he turns back to Castiel he ends up turning only to see the thing wearing his form. It speaks, the only sentence sticking with Dean is the one which makes his blood run cold. “Cass is, hmm…?” The thing shrugs, making Castiel’s face twist into expressions the angel had never worn, “He’s gone. He’s… dead.” The creature smiles as the blue irises turn black, “We run the show now.”_

_Black lines snake up Castiel’s neck and across the right side of his face. Black ooze begins to drip down his skin. Dean can see mouths moving but there’s no accompanying sound._

_Castiel, no the thing wearing his form, lurches from the room. Dean follows him to a reservoir. Slowly, his movements reminding Dean of old zombie movies, he entered the lake. Dean felt his mouth moving, trying to scream, call to his friend but nothing left his mouth. He tried to move instead but something kept him in place._

_“You need to see this,” a voice whispered in his ear._

_Castiel sunk below the surface, the water became a vortex before exploding outward. In Dean’s peripheral vision he saw Castiel’s trench coat wash up on the shore. Dean fought harder, this couldn’t be happening!_

_The scene changed and… Cass! But the man standing looking up from the bottom of porch steps didn’t know him._ Emmanuel _the voice supplied. Cass had no memory._

_Another flash, this time Dean found himself in a hospital, Sam looking stoned out of his mind lying on the bed. Dean knew he was dying though and there was no way to save him. Castiel was standing beside him, trademark trench coat back on, though in need of a good washing. The waves of regret coming off the angel made Dean want to cry. He knew that feeling all too well._

_The gleam in Castiel’s eye changed, rolling up the sleeve on his left arm he moved closer to Sam. He said something, unfortunately there was still no sound so Dean couldn’t hear him. Cass placed his hand on Sam’s forehead and angry red lines moved from Sam’s head, up Cass’s arm and across his face. Cass’s pupils turned the same angry red. When he pulled away Dean knew his friend was broken beyond repair._

_The next images to flash before him were of Cass but he was off._ Crazy _his mind supplied. He was afraid of everything, running away at so much as a raised voice._

_The scene changed again, this time to a dark forest. Red eyes looked back at him from the trees. Dean could feel himself running. He was in Purgatory, how he knew that he didn’t know but knew it to be the truth. He had to run, keep moving, find Cass. That was his main goal, next to staying alive. He’d find his friend then they would get the hell out of there._

_Dean couldn’t tell how much time passed. His days were filled with running, torturing, “Where is the angel!?” Desperation, hope,_ praying _. He was going to find his friend_ -damn it!- _even if it killed him._

_And then, finally, finding Castiel beside a shallow river bed. He looked like hell, his clothes covered in dirt and blood. He looked strange with a beard. Elation flowed through him, Dean ran over and hugged Castiel tight. He wasn’t going to let the angel out of his sight again._

_They had to escape. Castiel and… he had no idea who the other creature traveling with them was but Dean didn’t fear him. They moved constantly. No matter how many times Castiel said he may not be able to escape Dean told him otherwise. He was_ not _leaving without Cass. Final, period, end of story!_

_Ahead of them, the portal out of there. Dean and Cass running up the hillside, avoiding leviathan. Dean started through the portal first, reaching back and taking Cass’s hand to pull him along. “Come on!”_

_Their hands were slipping apart. Fear and desperation reflected in Castiel’s eyes. “Dean!” Something grabbed Cass. Their hands were forced apart._

_“Dean!”_

* * *

            “Cass!”

            Dean shot up, coming fully awake with a scream dying in his throat. He was covered in a cold sweat his body trembling and his hand stretched out in front of him, grabbing at empty air. For a moment Dean thought he was still stuck in Purgatory until a hand gripped his and the bedside lap was turned on low.

            Blue eyes looked back at him, full of worry before darting around the room, apparently looking for danger. “Dean…?”

            Dean swung his legs off the edge of the bed while simultaneously pulling Cass closer and burying his face against his friend’s stomach. His arms snaked around Castiel’s waist hugging him tightly. If Castiel wasn’t an angel he would probably be leaving bruises. Dean continued to tremble. His breathing was shallow and spots danced behind his eyes from the lack of oxygen. He forced himself to take deep breaths to calm himself.

            Castiel went stiff for a moment before relaxing and wrapping his arms awkwardly around Dean, one hand cradling the hunter’s head while the other rubbed small circles along his back. “Dean?”

            “Why didn’t you come to me?” Dean asked when he was able. There was still a slight tremble to his voice due to his continued shaking, though it seemed to be getting better.

            “I don’t understand,” Castiel replied.

            The angel tried to pull away but Dean clung tighter. He wasn’t letting go _damn it_. Not again. He felt rather than heard Cass sigh. “I know Cass.”

            Castiel leaned back, not enough to leave Dean’s embrace, just enough so he could look down at his charge. “Dean?”

            Dean took another breath and met Cass’s gaze. His fingers twitched, flexing around the tan fabric of Castiel’s trench coat. “I know you’re working with Crowley to get the souls from Purgatory.” Dean didn’t miss the flash of shock and fear which crossed Castiel’s face before his expression went blank again. “In the reality you had us sent to,” he shrugged, “this was all a TV show. The guy who played you actually gave me scripts after I convinced him that I was _me_ and not the guy who plays me.” And wow wasn’t _that_ confusing? “He… Cass if you go through with this you’re going to die. I know this is going to sound selfish but I can’t handle that. I’ve had so many people I care about leave me, most by choice but you’ve always stayed around. If you… I just can’t do it Cass.”

            Dean knew he was crossing the line into the dreaded chick-flick moment, flew by it actually, but right then he didn’t care. He’d say anything to change Cass’s mind about Purgatory, anything to keep the angel alive. Castiel was the best friend Dean had ever had. The man –angel- was practically his brother. He was probably closer to Cass than he was to Sam. That was a bit of a depressing thought since he’d been with Sam ever since he had been born.

            Much to Dean’s disappointment, and no he did _not_ whimper, Castiel pulled away. The angel didn’t leave, however he did move to the other side of the room.

            Dean twisted around where he sat so he could keep his eyes on Cass. The angel’s shoulders were tense. Cass’ gaze was set firmly at something outside the window. Dean felt as if any wrong move would send the angel away. He had to tread carefully.

            Though he’d already asked he once more felt the question, “why didn’t you come to me?” pass his lips.

            Castiel tensed more for only a moment before his whole body seemed to sag. “You were out Dean,” Castiel replied softly. “You were out, safe and happy and I… I didn’t want to ruin that.”

            “No Cass, I wasn’t. I was miserable, trying everything I could think of to get Sammy out of the Cage. There were times when I was seriously thinking about saying screw it and going back to hunting. Besides don’t you think that was my decision to make?” Dean asked.

            Castiel turned back to face Dean. Dean felt his chest tighten at the agony reflected in the angel’s eyes. “I thought—”

            “I know,” Dean interrupts, “and I appreciate the gesture but you’re family Cass. Family helps each other, no matter what. Besides, I wasn’t happy at all.”

            The look that crossed Castiel’s face was one Dean couldn’t peg. There were so many emotions fighting for dominance and yet… Dean finally figured out what Castiel was bracing himself for. He was waiting for Dean’s anger, waiting to be placed in the same category as the monsters they hunted.

            “I’m not mad Cass,” Dean said. The look he received at that comment showed just how much Castiel believed that. “Okay, so I am mad but not for what you think. I’ve had some time to think this over and I understand, partially, why you didn’t tell me but… I’d be a hypocrite to yell at you for working with Crowley. We had his help when we were trying to stop Lucifer and… Well you’re not an official member of the family if you haven’t done _something_ stupid like sell your soul or start the friggin’ apocalypse in some form or another. Don’t beat yourself up about this. We’ll find another way to stop Raphael.”

            The look Castiel sent him now was like ‘who are you and what have you done with Dean?’

            “I get it Cass, I really do. You were desperate and desperate people do stupid things. Trust me, I know. You remember how we met?” While Dean didn’t exactly have any memories of his rescue from Hell he knew Cass did.

            “You were not fighting a war.”

            “No, but I started one.”

            The two fell into a, strangely enough, comfortable silence. Dean knew he had to make his point to Cass. He was _not_ about to let his brother kill himself. Castiel had already died more than enough times for them. He’d sacrificed so much for them, helped them when he knew doing so could, and had on occasion, get him killed. Dean owed the angel so much, there was no way he was ever going to repay his debt. He’d start though, with this.

            “We still have time to fix this,” he said after a few minutes.

            “Dean it’s—”

            “If you say ‘it’s not broken’ so help me I will hit you.”

            Castiel’s mouth snapped shut. Yeah, that’s exactly what he’d been about to say.

            “Cass, any plan that’s going to end up with you dead is a bad, and broken, plan.”

            “What choice do I have?” the angel asked, exasperation filtering into his voice.

            Dean stood and moved over to Cass. He put his hands on the angel’s shoulders when he was close enough. A small part of him was once again reassured that Cass was real and what he’d seen hadn’t happened yet. He wasn’t _going_ to let it happen. Even if it killed him, okay so it’s a little cliché but he was a Winchester and they had this strange habit of killing themselves for each other. Cass had already done it more than enough times.

            “What about those weapons you snagged while we were on the other side of the looking glass? Couldn’t one of those help?” The _Alice in Wonderland_ reference was completely lost on Castiel but Dean didn’t care.

            “Perhaps,” Castiel conceded after a moment. Cass’s eyes shifted away. He sounded so defeated, like he’d just lost something very important once Dean had found out his plan. “But I won’t sacrifice you for this Dean. This is my war.”

            Dean gripped Cass’s chin, turning the angel’s gaze back to him. “Yeah, well. Too bad because I’m not going to give you up without a fight. You’re family Cass, I can’t…” Dean took a shaky breath. Okay, so this was something he’d been keeping to himself for a very long time and he probably should have said something earlier but his male bravado hadn’t allowed it. He hated showing any form of weakness. He really should have paid more attention to the going on’s around him. Really, he’d already seen what pushing away family would do. He was going to correct that mistake before things got out of hand.

            Bracing himself for further horrid chick-flick moments he wrapped his arms around Cass, pulling the angel into a hug. “I need you Cass. I can’t live without you. You and Sam and Bobby are all that I have left. My family’s already small enough, please don’t make it smaller.” His hands bunched the tan fabric of the trench coat, his head buried against the juncture of Castiel’s neck and shoulder. Dean belatedly realized he was holding on for dear life.

            It was like hugging a statue, Castiel didn’t move at first, except for the slight tensing of his body. Then he relaxed, his arms came up to embrace Dean. It was awkward but Dean didn’t care. All he cared about at the moment was that he was getting through to Cass. He felt something wet land on the side of his neck. Confused he lifted his head up and what he saw made his heart stop.

            Though Castiel’s expression mostly remained his normal stoic it was the silent tears running down the angel’s face that tore at Dean’s heart. Dean reached up and wiped the tears away. “Don’t leave us.” _Don’t leave me._

            Taking a breath to steady himself Dean went to pull back only to be pulled in for another hug. He wasn’t going to complain. Cass was family, he was allowed moments like this with family. Hell to be perfectly honest he’d come to depend on Castiel just as much, if not more, than he depended on Sam. He needed his family there. To have any of what’s left of it taken away was like tearing off a limb. Dean let himself be held, it was nice actually.

            “So,” Dean said after the silence had stretched on long enough, “since I’m running the risk of growing lady parts… Not that… yeah, anyway…”

            When Castiel pulled back his expression had changed to one of confusion. “You can’t grow female organs Dean,” he stated mater-of-factly.

            “Yeah I know that Cass. It’s… never mind.” Dean laughed, that was such a Cass answer. The confused head tilt and just Cass’s inability to understand sarcasm. Dean missed this.

            “So, since we’re definitely _not_ on the Crowley/Purgatory train anymore what’s say we figure out another way to kick an archangel’s ass.”

            “Dean,” Castiel began.

            “No Cass. Anything that’s going to end up with you dying isn’t a working plan.” He pulled away from Castiel long enough to go through the scripts he’d gotten in the other dimension. He’d read through a good portion of them and he didn’t like the outcome at all. “This,” he said waving the scripts, “isn’t going to happen. We’ve already rewritten destiny once. Wanna do it again?”

            The angel was silent for a long while. Eventually he nodded. “I don’t know any other way,” he admitted.

            “Well then we’ll just have to think of something,” Dean replied. He grabbed Cass’s sleeve before heading back towards the bed. He wasn’t planning on letting the angel out of his sight any time soon.

            Though it wasn’t something that Dean did often, most of the time he fought the impulse he had, but when Dean was scared of losing something he became very clingy. He’d watched Sam like a hawk after he’d been brought back from the dead (both times) he just needed that reassurance that his family was still there. The year he’d spent with Lisa had been one of his worst. While he’d played at the apple pie life it wasn’t his life. The whole time he’d wanted nothing more than to have his family back. Faults and all.

            Castiel followed Dean who knew that if the angel didn’t want to move there was no way Dean could have done so. “Dean?”

            Dean’s shoulders sagged, thinking that the feelings he had were making him look weak. Maybe they were, “Look I just…” He turned his head slightly, catching sight of Castiel out of the corner of his eye. “You know me Cass, inside and out, everything. I…”

            “I know Dean,” Castiel said softly. “I will stay.”

            Dean nodded, throat unusually tight. He crawled into bed, tossing the scripts down on the floor. He didn’t need those now. Once he lay down Dean realized just how exhausted he was. Fatigue washed over him quickly. He barely realized that Castiel had taken a seat against the headboard. Dean rolled towards him, hand reaching out once again to grip the tan fabric of Cass’s trench coat. He fell into a relaxed sleep, knowing his angel was watching over him.

* * *

            When Castiel had first heard Dean calling for him, the way his name was cried out, Castiel had felt as if all of the blood in his vessel had turned to ice. He’d dropped everything in his mad rush to Dean’s side. He’d appeared in Dean’s bedroom in Bobby’s house to find the hunter thrashing about in the throes of a horrible nightmare. It hadn’t been easy to wake Dean, it was as if something was keeping him under. Dean’s choked cry of, “Cass,” had torn at the angel’s heart. He’d never heard his name spoken with such desperation and loss before. He never wanted to hear it again.

            After waking the hunter and learning that Dean knew about his partnership with Crowley Castiel had finally understood the human phrase of wanting to crawl into a hole and die. He hated having to work with Crowley but he’d known no other choice. He had no idea how to go about defeating Raphael, no closer to winning the war.

            Castiel sat next to Dean while the hunter slept, absently carding his fingers through Dean’s short hair. He could hear his brothers and sisters calling for him but he tuned them out. They were his siblings, yes, but they weren’t his family. His family was currently resting under the roof of a house built in a salvage yard.

            Castiel looked down at the scattering of papers on the floor. They were the scripts Dean had picked up in the alternate reality. Curious he reached down for the closest one. It was hard to do because when he moved Dean’s grip on him tightened. It was awkward and uncomfortable to bend at such an angle. His fingers brushed against the paper and he managed to pull the closest script towards him. The light was still on in the room, he hadn’t thought to turn it off.

            The first page read: “Supernatural: The Once and Future King.” Flipping the pager over he began to read. As he read he felt more and more ashamed of what he had done and had been planning to do. When he reached the end he was glad that Dean had found out. He didn’t want things to end the way it was written on the pages before him.

            Something about the last page didn’t feel right. The paper felt raised in some areas. Flipping the last page over, he found a note written in handwriting similar to his own.

            _Two boys, an old drunk and a fallen angel – Score:_

_Demons – check_

_Angels (rogue and otherwise) – check_

_Faries – check (lol)_

_Pegan gods – check_

_Four horsemen of the apocalypse - check_

_Michael – check_

_Lucifer – check_

_Various other monsters – check_

_The rest of the baddies - screwed_

_The ninja turtle doesn’t stand a chance!_

            Castiel felt himself begin to smile. He let his gaze fall to Dean. The hunter’s death grip on him hadn’t lessened but Castiel didn’t mind. He allowed himself to relax. It was something he never felt around his siblings anymore. He was uncomfortable in Heaven and around the other angels. It took a moment but Castiel finally realized why that was.

            Heaven may have been his home once but it wasn’t any more, hadn’t been for a couple of years now. This was his home and his family consisted of an old grouchy drunk and two hunters with hearts of gold.

            It was true, what Bobby had once said: Family don’t end in blood.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome.


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